Happy New Years! LVK coming soon

Happy New Years Everyone!

I came across this trailer and I can't imagine it coming to a theater near us very soon. But here's hoping in 2009.

What's Up?

Merry Christmas guys!

My brother in law found this video for me, thanks dude.

An update of a classic.. with a surprise ending.



Change.

Wolverine Trailer

This movie actually looks okay. I somehow feel like I'm setting myself up for a big let down. But what the hell, GAMBIT is there! (#33 Tim Riggins!)

Well maybe Tony Start will make an appearance and save us.

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

Leg vs. Leg: Who you got?

UFC highlights from a match between Corey Hill and Dale Hart.

Watch him go for a front leg kick and then OMG. It hurts to watch. His opponnent doesn't even realize how he won (or why they stopped the fight) until he turns around and sees the rubber duckey leg exposed.



Sorry about the video, for some reason i can't find a decent one on youtube that doesn't plug anything.

UPDATE: Damn Zuffa keeps removing the links!!! New video here

School Girls Rock

Because one of my Bros is getting married soon, I have decided to start posting some naughty school girl (SFW) videos in memory of his Tomcat spirit.

Let's begin with Ms. Keeley Hazel.

Top Gun: The Oscar award winning version

Due to the popularity of the Star Trek Oscar award winning version, I now humbly present one of my all time favorite movies... in full Oscar award winning version.



They should definitely release this version today. It screams Oscar! or any other man names that gay guys scream out when they are being violated in the posterior.

On a side note, I have to believe that the strumming guitar background music has to be like the #1 wedding song for same-sex-not-a-man engagements.

Is that STILL Batman?

The new Terminator is set in an alternative universe where no matter how much ass-kicking Sarah did (or is still doing on TV)the terminators still come out on top.



Its nice to know Christian Bale has suck a versatile range in portraying hard ass leading roles. I think he's got it down to a science - Squintey eyes, check. Growley voice, check. Over the top screaming check. Blockbuster in the making.

The Greatest Movie of All Time

Forget the Titanic, forget The Dark Knight!

The genuises in Hollywood have aseembled the greates cast of B movie actors from across time and space... Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you Blizhniy Boy : The Ultimate Fighter.



A combination of mixed martial arts, Gary "Crazy Mofo" Busey, John "Black Dojo Karate Kid" Kreese, David "Bill" Carradine, Eric "Motherfucking" Roberts, Bolo "Bad Dude from Bloodsport who looks like a GI Joe" Yeung, Perenial Asian Bad Guy Cary Tagawa, Hot chicks with Big Boobs, blood, prison violence, police brutality, New York City...The Mother of all B MOVIES!!!

Of course we can quickly turn this into a AAA blockbuster hit with transforming robots, Megan Fox, a dead movie star, some Star Wars references, and shit loads of CGI.

... oh and that dude who does the cool movie voices.

UPDATE: I've recently been asked how this could be the greatest movie of all time without the presence of Chuck Norris, I dare say should Chuck grace us with his presence in this movie - the world may end as the amount of awesomeness will become immeasurable.

Victoria's Secret is CLONES!

Karolina Kurkova has been voted World’s Sexiest Womam. And if you look at her you can tell why, but take a closer look... she has no BELLY BUTTON!!! Which pushes me towards the obvious conclusion that all supermodels are clones or sexy fembots.



Take a closer look...

Wholesome Video Game Goodness

No wonder kids love playing these cutesy games...



Lol. I have a life extender right here. I wonder if i can trick one of those super models into me "inserting it into her back". "You only have 3 months to live, let me extend your life, don't worry it won't leave a scar (much)"

The Best Game EEEEVER!

Well not really, but if your bored and lack the resources for a real RTS, this will do.

Bloons Tower Defense 3 - because Monkeys popping Balloons is fun.

The Next Big Thing is the Champ

So even getting hit with his pinkie must be so strong it could bowl over a UFC heavyweight champ.



I wish John Cena gets in the UFC, then my wish for Brock killing him will come true. Make it Happen Vince!!!

Little Mac Upper Cut

Holy... shit.



Jeremy Stephens vs. Dude with no more jaw.

Holy Mother... Star Trek!

The new Star Trek Trailer leaked out of some crappy cam phone this week. but here it is in glorious Streamingfidelity.



I'm just waiting for Sylar to take Kirks power and start talking like William Shatner... Deny Krane.

Epic Fail of the Day

When Donkey's fall in love.. or get horny.

You're out in the country and need to take a dump, beware of rabidly horny donkeys lurking about. They will take their armlength members and place them in any exposed surface of your fleshy body.

An Acapella Tribute to John Williams

Because no one else wanted to sing with him.

The Skywalker Ranch

It's the dude from balls of Fury and he wants to break into George Lucas house, no it's not to kill him for raping Indiana Jones.



So many cameo's must resist naming them all...

Guitar Hero World Tour Ad

Kobe Bryant, Micheal Phelps, Alex Rodriguez, and Tony Hawk relive the Tom Cruise classic moment, No I'm not talking about the jumping on the couch like a retard on Oprah.



UPDATE:

I like this commercial even more... Somehow it calls to me. I can't quite figure it out, maybe it's the lighting or something.

Batman meets Real Super Powers

So we all know Batman is suppose to be so great because he's actually just an ordinary guy with an extraordinarily coarse voice and a bazillion dollars and a company that happens to make military grade weapons and gadgets... so I guess he's not that ordinary afterall.



Ever notice that in Dak Knight, Joker actually one-ups batman throughout the entire movie! I mean Batman's suppose to be the most intelligent superhero, outsmarting anyone, but in the movie he just brute forces his way like a black skinny Hulk.

Unnecessary Censorship : Sesame Street

More *bleeeping* Goodness, enjoy!

Unnecessary Censorship : Mr Rogers

Jimmy Kimmel (from the man show, wuuuut?) has this interesting segment called the Unnecessary Censorship. This one starts my all time favorite sweater wearing, puppet playing, soft toned, mild mannered tv personality, Mr. Rogers.



Unnecesary Bleeps + Wholesome show = Comic Genius.

The Clash of the Bergs

So Mark Wahlberg was on Jimmy Kimmel a couple of days ago and Jimmy asked him what he thought of the skit Any Samberg did of him.



So mean ol Mark Wahlberg wants to punch Andy in the Nose! It's either he's a better actor than we give him credit for or he was genuinely pissed off , I prefer the later.

Then he decided to confront Andy Samberg for his skit on SNL!



Funny stuff, actually I think Andy does a better Wahlberg than Mark Wahlberg! There I said it, we were all thinking it.

For the Original Skit please click here

Epic Fail of the Day

You can always rely on skateboarders and extreme sports guys for Epic Fails



Notice how he just lays in the middle of the street afterwards, presumably to die.

The Ultimate WowGeek Mouse

I've been searching for the perfect mouse to play WoW with and low and behold...



Now I have to save $99 to buy it. HOLY SHIT. I'm a geek.

And YES, the dude being interviews is DEFINITELY GAY. I just realized he might be making this whole epic wow-mouse thing up to get into little hetero-gamers pants. Its the perfect plan, he must be stopped.

NBA 2K7 is better than Live

I've been playing NBA live for as long as they've been making them and for the first time in my life I stopped playing Live last yer, when NBA Live 08 made me cry. It was truly the most disappointing PC game ever. This year even EA gave up on NBA live and didn't even make a PC version (blasphemy!) but rival game title NBA 2K9 has decided to pick up the slack.

And from the looks of it, I better get some batteries for my PC gamepad.

Diablo3: Wizard Light show

New character for Diablo 3, the Wizard. A walking lightshow si how they descrube her, I think they just wanted to someone bring an Asian chick into the game

KI Keys for 10-17

It seems Mr. Kasper doesn't like the last batch of keys....
Nontheless we have a new batch ready!
Well.. 1 key to be exact, but it works!

Click here

Thanks to Metz for the Rapidshare account whcih allowed me to download the key at lightning speed, and for the subsequent loads of PORN that will follow.

Triumph watches David Blaine

David Blaine was that guy who used to do street magic because he said the whole performance magic was too easy and entertaining. Now he's doing it and I'm bored. Thank God for Triumph!

Grimace: The Answer

I finally found video proof to answer the aged old question, "What the hell is grimace suppose to be?"

Apparently he was some evil poop-looking monster with several limbs who was addicted to Coke and Shakes.

Originally Brown, the burger empire must have decided to that the Coke-Monster shouldn't resemble a pile of turds - less the children quickly associate the two.



And shortly after, the less menacing (more gay) ube-filled version was introduced.

Rachel Ray and the Corn Incident

Well the internet went abuzz with Rachel Ray and "Threading Corn" you can see where this is going. I too didn't even need to watch the video to know it was some perverse deal with her hand rubbing the corn. But the Reedit after the actual clip is worth the wait.




That Marvin Gay song has to be the universal sexy time song. I wonder how many videos have this as the background music.

Mark "Andy" Wahlberg

Even though he looks good in Max Payne (So far!) I still haven't completely forgiven him for his tree-racial movie, The Happening. Who would have thought you could do a Mark Wahlberg impersonation? I really hadn't noticed that he talked in a particular way until i saw this.



Pretty good huh?

The only thing missing is the pursed-lips-wrinkled-eyebrows confused look of constipation whenever there's conflict in a scene.

Bring the Payne!

a new clip from Max Payne

Slice Diced

As you may have seen/heard super underground MMA fighter Kimbo Slice was knocked out last weekend. If you watch closely you can see the promoter (at 57 secs) freaking out at the ref because his cash cow just got pummeled.


http://view.break.com/583611 - Watch more free videos

Well Kimbo could always replace that middle eastern guy that Bugs Bunny likes to mess with, Hassan Chop! Kimbo sssSlice!

The Greatest Beer Ad Ever

It's pretty easy to advertise beer to men, It's a product that most men already like. Add to that the raw power of 2 hot girls AND wrestling and you've stumbled across the universal formula to sell anything. Anything. Boobs > Will Power.

Japs just wanna have fun.

In the midst of all the new Japanese Game show knock-offs on American Television, the Americans have failed to capture the true essence of what is Japanese Reality TV. Which is to say, they are PERVES. Big Fat perves. God Bless them.

I now bring you Japanese Boobie-Bouncing Contest.



It's things like this and Miss Maria Ozawa that make me wish Japan had Won the World War and taken over the world. There would be no more war, only kinky cat-sounding porn.

Real Fantasy Football

My friend who will remain nameless (METZ =P) is seriouly addicted to fantasy sports. So i gave it a good old google search and holy shit.

FANTASY = Women in Lingerie
+
SPORTS = Any action involving a Ball and some sort of SCORING

=

Lingerie Football.

Oh My God.



It's like Monday Night Football meets Victoria's Secret. Somehow I think Vince Mcmahon is involved.

Kaspersky Goodness

It's that time again.

New keys for my babies!

download them here

Flash Hates Mozilla

If you're like me and you constantly update your Mozilla and Flash player whenever the little friendly pop-up comes out. Then you're probably encountering some Video problems with youtube or my Blog.

If you try to watch a video in Youtube (or any streaming video with Flash) and it constantly FREEZES here is the solution:

STEP 1: Whack your PC and call it Susan (Optional)
STEP 2: download the 2 files from here UNINSTALLER and OLDFLASHPLAYER
STEP 3: Run the UNINSTALL and uninstall the STUPID flash
STEP 4: Run the Flashplayer
STEP 5: Enjoy Video Goodness
STEP 6: Make you GF call out my name next time you ahve sex! (BAM)

Enjoy Kiddies!

Batman interrogates the Joker

I for one actually understand Batman. But then again, I could also clearly understand Hootie from the Blowfish.



Oh BONUS Clips!!

J-C-V-D

4 words. Jean Claude Van Damme.



I can't wait for the Chuck Norris version... CFN (Chuck Fuckin Norris!) Oh yeah!

The Dark Toy

The greatest superhero movie of our time...

Star Trek the Oscar Award Winning Verison

Space was not the final frontier...





And what about BONES? He was the foundation for that Nazi neighbor in American Beauty...

See for yourself!

Accidental Internet Porn

We've all com across the surprise internet porn.

It's not really dirty. It's all in your head.

I got a coulple of *bonus* games...

Hole-in-one?

There's a 3 finger version for you loose women...

That ain't a snow machine.

Can't wait for the Pop-up version.

#1 thing you should buy before going to Prison is...

I always wondered why it smelled like clorox.

That Jack o'lantern got a fun hole!

A car wash that does pipes!

YES!

Hogan knows best.

Santa's "Little helper"

That's some piece of wood you got there cowboy.

Check out the classic head pat. LOL

Happy Easter indeed.

"Junior, did you misplace your cock puller"

And this is why i watch the NBA.

Show her that you care.

Forecast for today, long and hard.

Wonder Woman - Classic

Ahh, remember when Lynda Carter was the queen of pre-pubesent boners? Good times.

As a tribute to the very first Glamazon, I bring you Wonder Woman VS HORNY Gorilla (not related to Late Night with Conan's Masturbating Bear)



And I figure she must have developed a thing for the ape...



Video Editing goodness... Now that's putting that $2000 dollar MAC to good use.

I am Legend (wait for it)

I Am Legend

The Way It Was Supposed To Be:
In this adaptation of Richard Matheson's classic horror novella, Will Smith plays Doctor Robert "Legend" Neville, the last man alive in a city overrun with CGI vampire mutants.

In the film's original ending, Neville is trapped as vampires break through his barricades and infiltrate his hideout (who would have guessed that locking yourself in an enclosed space in the middle of a city full of vampires would turn out to be a bad idea?). Then, this happens:




Yeah. In the original, the vampires are revealed to be thinking, benevolent creatures who were merely attempting to rescue a vampire that Neville had captured earlier.

Not only does the book end in a similar way, but it in fact was the entire freaking point of the book. That's where the title "I Am Legend" came from, Neville's realization at the end that the vampires were the good guys and that he was the monster of their legends, since he had been mindlessly driving stakes through their heart at every opportunity. Maybe a title like So I'm The Asshole would have been clearer.

The "Improved" Version:
Because test audiences apparently didn't like the original ending, the studio opted to go with a new one in which Neville fights back against the vampires to protect his new allies. He does so by igniting a grenade about two inches from their face, destroying the once-safe stronghold and severely injuring his companions. It should also be noted that going by the original ending, Will Smith just murdered scores of reasoning creatures who were attempting to rescue a little girl.

This brings up the other problem, which is that all of the little hints that had been inserted along the way indicating the creatures had intelligence (the complex traps they set, the same creature reappearing in some kind of leadership role) are completely ignored. In the new ending, the vampires are mindless savages with no other purpose but general horror movie mayhem.

Perhaps the saddest thing about all this is that it shows that no one involved really believed in the message of the final product. They didn't produce a film in order to convey any kind message, they just strung together a bunch of cool scenes and called it a movie. One more reason why audience feedback isn't always the best guide, as anyone who has read YouTube comments will happily tell you.

Where you can find the original:
The original ending is available as a bonus scene on the recent DVD release, where it is advertised as the "controversial original ending." Yes, coming to a peaceful reconciliation with your enemies is now more controversial than blowing them right the fuck up.

Mario Saves the Day!

Mario finally overcomes his enemies and rescues the woman he has been fighting to save.



You know princess, those mushrooms make Mario grow bigger everywhere!

Hulk: Classic

Before there was hightech, big-budget special effects. There was green paint on steroid induced muscle men and some Benny Hill-esque production crews.

For your viewing pleasure I present the Incredible Hulk (cue sad walking away music)

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Halloween Costumes

So Halloween is fast and approaching so i thought i might throw out some costume ideas for you.. well you meaning YOU if you're a hot sexy mama or YOU meaning your hot sexy girl.

Lady Liberty. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free from the oppression of pants and underwear!" By the way the flame shes carrying comes in optional with vibrate mode.

Sexy pilgrim. Her turn ons include large buckles, corn, and seeing her husband's naked ankles.

You're never going to guess who this one is. Go on. I'll give you a minute.

The machete and the Jason mask/purse should tip you off. No, no, it's not Jason. It's Mrs. Voorhees. More horror movies should have hot female lead guys, then I'll go watch.

Like the Costume, hate the model... or maybe that's a mask? Your honor i object. Sexy defense lawyer to the rescue!

Sexy Prosecutor. I guess prosecutors are more likely to a) wear jackets and b) lean more toward browns. It's more offensive or something. Denny Crane

However, they both have to answer to sexy Judge. This is *actually* what judges wear behind the bench; that's why they sit back there.

And you thought fast-food workers couldn't be sexy. How wrong you were. I know I'm a thigh man but this time i prefer the BREASTS.

Sexy Freddy, obviously. Atleast her other hand is uh.. "friendlier"

It's probably going to be hard for you to guess what this one is, so I'll just tell you. See those things on either side of her head? Those are ears. She's a lamb. And if she remains Silent, she will be the perfect woman.


So does the Butler get to do her too? Elementary dear Watson.

SEXY MAIL CARRIER. With my singing stripper telegram in hand.

Of course, the sexy nun. I'm going to hell.

Sexy Safari Jane. With pawprints on her boobs, of course. Damn horny bears, curse you lucky woodland creatures! Curse you!!!

Ah, yes, sexy tin man. The perfect pick up line in a bar if you catch a chick with this outfit on "You look like you need some Oil..."
or! or!
"Hey i guess you need some lube"
or! or!
"I'll give you a heart if you give me some head"
POW!

Sexy Cruella. Because women who skin dalmatian puppies to make coats are HOTTER in real life than in cartoons.


Hot Plumber, including the plumber's crack. Her pin says, "We polish pipes." Classy.


Anymore costumes? send em to me and i'll post them. I'm still looking for the classic "school girl" always a crowd pleaser.