25 Fight Clips

Here are 25 Fight Clips you shouldn't miss.

25. The KISS of DOOM!

24. SlammaJamma

23. Skinny Foot

22. Intense staring does not equal intense fight

21. Hands up at ALL TIMES

20. Gonna happen eventually

19. I pitty the fool

18. A self-inflicted flying clothesline

17. Again, this is why they tell you to keep your hands up.

16. Please don’t start crying, lets maintain SOME dignity.

15. When Magnum PI decides to kick ass.. he's right up there with Chuck Norris

14. 1 second knock out -

13. Football player in MMA?

12. The Axe Murderer

11. 2:45 Mark guys

10. Want to beat an Emelianenko, you better try to hit them in the head with some sort of blunt object several times during a match, or you will probably lose

9. They should probably both keep their hands up

8. I can’t think of a time when a shin to the head would be beneficial

7. All that training for 15 seconds of fighting

6. Speed bag training

5. Human punching bag Thompson makes his second appearence on this list

4. Sami Berik vs. Mark Smith - This one gets a little weird at the end when the dude starts twitching uncontrollably

3. The winner gets hit with a pretty good shot coming in, but that doesn’t stop him from knocking his opponent out cold in four seconds.

2. I am pretty glad I wasn’t on the recieving end of that knee

1. I don’t know how the hell he pulled this off

Olympic Games Roundup

Olympic preview, Weirdo-Jap-Gameshow-style presentation

Deadliest Cover Up Ever

The truth is out there.



It's like the Truman show with Arnold. Quick get in da roflcapta!

More Arnold goodness..

Fighting 20 Children?

I’m not going to ask why you’re fighting twenty children. That’s your own business, although most reasons are as old as time itself:

1) They started it.
2) You flipped over the table while losing a Magic: The Gathering game, and damaged several rare cards.
3) They stole your woman.
4) You stole their woman.
5) You’ve had enough of their bullshit.

Whether you’re a good man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or a dangerous maniac, we just want to help. That’s why we’ve consulted with the experts (who did not wish to be named) on how to maximize your odds of winning a fight against twenty children. Follow these guidelines, and your opponents will wish they were never born 6 or 7 years ago.

Use an appropriate technique. Modern mixed martial arts are geared almost exclusively towards one on one combat, and are not designed to take on multiple tiny aggressors. As a grown adult, you could be fairly assured of absolutely destroying a 7 year old if you took him to the floor for a ground and pound. But by doing so you’d expose your back and head to his peers. Your best bet is to stay on your feet and use striking techniques. Karate is one good choice - it was originally designed in the 1600’s for use by unarmed Japanese day care workers.

Be aware of the terrain. By default, you’re going to have a height advantage against twenty children, but be sure you don’t cede it. Avoid fighting around picnic tables, monkey bars, or anything with which a particularly daring child could launch an aerial attack. The ideal situation is fighting children who are trapped in a ditch below you.

Stay mobile. Unless you’re extremely lucky and find yourself fighting twenty infants, you’re going to be at a mobility disadvantage when fighting a large group of children. You must avoid becoming surrounded at all costs. Keep moving, and always trying to position the bulk of children on one side of you. Circle, sidestep, and use tactical retreats to try and engage a single child at a time, where your reach and decades of muscular development should prove an advantage.

Speed. You want this fight to be over fast. Children have boundless amounts of energy, and you’ll tire quickly as the fight progresses. If you schedule your fights with twenty children in advance for some reason, I urge you to focus your pre-training regimen on cardiovascular conditioning and snorting eye-wateringly large amounts of cocaine.

Intimidation. Although I don’t expect you to be intimidated by the prospect of fighting twenty children - given the self-confidence that comes with maturity - remember that intimidation is a two way street. Twenty is a big number, and if that many children lose their fear of you, watch out. Use fierce roars and displays of strength to frighten the children. When taunting, remember that children are almost comically stupid, and won’t understand any of your more creative taunts. You won’t intimidate anyone if you have to explain three times specifically what you did to their mother last night.

Go for the leader first. Assuming the twenty children lack military training, they’re going to behave more like a pack of animals than a cohesive group. By default, pack animals will defer to an alpha leader, and if you manage to subdue that child, the rest of the pack will quickly lose their will to fight. In some cases the leader will be actively giving orders and therefore easy to identify. Other times they’ll be harder to pick out. In those cases, go for the tallest one, or the one with the most Pokemon on their clothing. Once the alpha child is lying in a heap, you’ve got a narrow window of intimidation open while the children regroup. I’d recommend lifting his body over your head and screaming yourself hoarse. That’s the smart veteran move.

Groin attacks. In general the crotch is a small, easily defensible target, and not typically a factor in most fights at a reasonably professional level. That said, when children are attacked by an adult, they’re rarely going to respond professionally. Again, if you have forewarning that you’ll soon be coming to blows with twenty children, absolutely wear a cup. If you do get struck in the groin, under no circumstances should you place your hand on your genitals to massage away the pain - touching your privates while surrounded by minors is illegal in many states, and frowned upon in the rest.

Weapons. I’d suggest refraining from using weapons, and not just because of the harsh mandatory minimum sentencing laws that are a sad reality in this modern age. By bringing a weapon you might prompt the children to bring weapons as well. This kind of escalation plays against you. Whereas before you could fairly safely absorb several dozen tiny little punches before being incapacitated, you’re now at risk of being dropped with a single lucky strike. If a child with a pair of safety scissors gets at your Achilles tendon (the groin of the ankle) then you’re cooked buddy.

Let the last one walk away. In Professional Twenty-Child-Fighting Leagues this is now tradition, but even during raw, underground twenty child street-fights it serves an important purpose. By letting that child spread word of your great strength and not-to-be-fucked-withedness amongst the other children of the area, you can ensure that it will be a long time indeed before someone else mewls at you that you’re hogging the swings.

Supersize Nike

This is Nike's new campaign to get the fatties into Nikes. Subliminal message much?

That’s the Nike (Burger) Air Max 90 by Olle Hemmendorff, a Swedish illustrator/designer who was commissioned by Nike (along with 7 other artists) to "interpret" their sneakers. Olle decided to make one out of … hamburger!

Time well spent

Just when we thought World of Warcraft was taking too much of our time.

The developers of the online role-playing game Final Fantasy XI seemingly borrowed a page from the Emmy-winning South Park episode "Make Love, Not Warcraft" by updating the game with one of the longest - and most physically grueling - video game fights ever. Introduced in the game's latest downloadable update, the boss monster "Pandemonium Warden" remained perfectly fit after a group of high-level adventurers wailed away at it nonstop for over 18 hours straight.

You know an 18 hours boss fight could be the equivalent of a Tour De France of Gaming. Except instead of training to reach athletic perfection, you sit on your ass learning how to properly execute your Shift+/- key bindings to your "Wide-stance" Keyboard - Mouse coordination.

And by the way if you understood that, you play too much Wow..
Welcome brother, welcome.

Wonder in Silence

Jon Friedman joked about the Wonder Years and how if you didn't hear the narration then, well see for yourself.



Remember Kevin Arnold's long time love interest, Wendy Cooper was it? No?
Please click to remind yourself *POW*

The Next Big Thing

Kids, Don't try this at home... unless you happen to be Brock Lesnar.



Brock Lesnar versus Keith "The Texas Crazy Horse" Herring last UFC PPV. I half expected Brock to pick up Herring and give him an F5, But HOLY SHIT! did that punch just send Herring to the ground rolling!? Word of advise to all the Heavyweights, start losing weight and get out!!!

Rumor has it that Lesnar's showboating in the end "Can you see me now?!" is a direct response for getting off the limelight from WWE Superstar John Cena "You can't see me (/facewave)"

Of course those rumors started with me.

On a side note, "Texas Crazy Horse"? Seriously? That is not a fighter name, did they run out of all the cool names? Sounds more like Strip Bar in Las Vegas, Oh snap! it is a strip club bar in Las Vegas!

Man vs 330lbs Barbell: Who ya got?

This is why you're not suppose to carry things that weigh more than you.. or in my case things that weigh heavier than i can eat in one sitting.




Do arms really bend that way?

1 Year Older

Happy Birthday me!

The Modern Man

Here's something interesting from one of the best comic genius to have ever lived..

I'm a modern man, digital and smoke-free; a man for the millennium.

A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading.

I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multi-tasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I'm new-wave, but I'm old-school; and my inner child is outward-bound.

I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer; voice-activated and bio-degradable.

I interface with my database; my database is in cyberspace; so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet, pushin' the envelope.

I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs.

I've got no need for coke and speed; I've got no urge to binge and purge.

I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar.

A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary.

A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom-feeder.

I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.

I'm a totally ongoing, big-foot, slam-dunk rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.

A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic; out of rehab and in denial.

I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda.

You can't shut me up; you can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers.

I'm a non-believer, I'm an over-achiever; Laid-back and fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home; low-rent, high-maintenance.

I'm super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last.

A hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case; prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate-mail.

But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary-care giver.

My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.

I'm gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant.

I like rough sex; I like tough love. I use the f-word in my e-mail. And the software on my hard drive is hard-core—no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall. I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free, bite-size, ready-to-wear, and I come in all sizes.

A fully equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.

I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped and vacuum-packed.

And . . . I have unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock; rough, tough and hard to bluff.

I take it slow, I go with the flow; I ride with the tide, I've got glide in my stride.

Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin'; jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'.

I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty, and lunchtime is crunch time.

I'm hangin' in, there ain't no doubt;

and I'm hangin' tough.

Over and out.

-George Carlin, May he rest in peace.

Rockin' Art

Saw this on Ellen Last week. It's a bit long, about 4 mins. Just watch it and don't expect too much. Reminds of of that time I wanted to be a painter to get all the hot naked chicks to pose, until I realized it was mostly alot of painting "happy little" mountains.

The AWE-Lympics

Hopefully you've seen the Olympic opening ceremonies last week, I heard 4 Billion people watched it on TV so what the hell were you doing? If not go download it or buy a bootleg DVD (ironic much?) but by all means necessary WATCH IT! It's amazing. Nay I say LEGENDARY?

I think the Chinese spent like 10 Years preparing for it, getting everything just right, the whole show was a pure tribute to China's culture. The greatest Olympic Opener of all time...


... and this guy messed it up. Sir, you bring disgrace to your family, your village, you may no longer use one of our 6 names. You will be known as Bob, the 1 drummer that fucked up the whole Olympics on live, world-wide television. Shame on you sir.

FTL

And this is why you should never get married.
(Reason #6 taken from "anonymous" source)

But hey, if you care about your fingers smelling like cigs that much, this may be the solution for you. I'm thinking about recommending this for TV shopping. Probably paint it RED and call it the Finger-Free Smoker, sell it the new low introductory price of P999, but wait! Order now and you'll get a "She took my Balls" shirt absolutely FREE!

Are You Ready?

The Sandbox is now open for business.

I find alot of use(less and full) things on the web and i decided to start posting them here!