The Way It Was Supposed To Be: In this adaptation of Richard Matheson's classic horror novella, Will Smith plays Doctor Robert "Legend" Neville, the last man alive in a city overrun with CGI vampire mutants.
In the film's original ending, Neville is trapped as vampires break through his barricades and infiltrate his hideout (who would have guessed that locking yourself in an enclosed space in the middle of a city full of vampires would turn out to be a bad idea?). Then, this happens:
Yeah. In the original, the vampires are revealed to be thinking, benevolent creatures who were merely attempting to rescue a vampire that Neville had captured earlier.
Not only does the book end in a similar way, but it in fact was the entire freaking point of the book. That's where the title "I Am Legend" came from, Neville's realization at the end that the vampires were the good guys and that he was the monster of their legends, since he had been mindlessly driving stakes through their heart at every opportunity. Maybe a title like So I'm The Asshole would have been clearer.
The "Improved" Version: Because test audiences apparently didn't like the original ending, the studio opted to go with a new one in which Neville fights back against the vampires to protect his new allies. He does so by igniting a grenade about two inches from their face, destroying the once-safe stronghold and severely injuring his companions. It should also be noted that going by the original ending, Will Smith just murdered scores of reasoning creatures who were attempting to rescue a little girl.
This brings up the other problem, which is that all of the little hints that had been inserted along the way indicating the creatures had intelligence (the complex traps they set, the same creature reappearing in some kind of leadership role) are completely ignored. In the new ending, the vampires are mindless savages with no other purpose but general horror movie mayhem.
Perhaps the saddest thing about all this is that it shows that no one involved really believed in the message of the final product. They didn't produce a film in order to convey any kind message, they just strung together a bunch of cool scenes and called it a movie. One more reason why audience feedback isn't always the best guide, as anyone who has read YouTube comments will happily tell you.
Where you can find the original: The original ending is available as a bonus scene on the recent DVD release, where it is advertised as the "controversial original ending." Yes, coming to a peaceful reconciliation with your enemies is now more controversial than blowing them right the fuck up.
So Halloween is fast and approaching so i thought i might throw out some costume ideas for you.. well you meaning YOU if you're a hot sexy mama or YOU meaning your hot sexy girl.
Lady Liberty. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free from the oppression of pants and underwear!" By the way the flame shes carrying comes in optional with vibrate mode.
Sexy pilgrim. Her turn ons include large buckles, corn, and seeing her husband's naked ankles.
You're never going to guess who this one is. Go on. I'll give you a minute.
The machete and the Jason mask/purse should tip you off. No, no, it's not Jason. It's Mrs. Voorhees. More horror movies should have hot female lead guys, then I'll go watch.
Like the Costume, hate the model... or maybe that's a mask? Your honor i object. Sexy defense lawyer to the rescue!
Sexy Prosecutor. I guess prosecutors are more likely to a) wear jackets and b) lean more toward browns. It's more offensive or something. Denny Crane
However, they both have to answer to sexy Judge. This is *actually* what judges wear behind the bench; that's why they sit back there.
And you thought fast-food workers couldn't be sexy. How wrong you were. I know I'm a thigh man but this time i prefer the BREASTS.
Sexy Freddy, obviously. Atleast her other hand is uh.. "friendlier"
It's probably going to be hard for you to guess what this one is, so I'll just tell you. See those things on either side of her head? Those are ears. She's a lamb. And if she remains Silent, she will be the perfect woman.
So does the Butler get to do her too? Elementary dear Watson.
SEXY MAIL CARRIER. With my singing stripper telegram in hand.
Of course, the sexy nun. I'm going to hell.
Sexy Safari Jane. With pawprints on her boobs, of course. Damn horny bears, curse you lucky woodland creatures! Curse you!!!
Ah, yes, sexy tin man. The perfect pick up line in a bar if you catch a chick with this outfit on "You look like you need some Oil..." or! or! "Hey i guess you need some lube" or! or! "I'll give you a heart if you give me some head" POW!
Sexy Cruella. Because women who skin dalmatian puppies to make coats are HOTTER in real life than in cartoons.
Hot Plumber, including the plumber's crack. Her pin says, "We polish pipes." Classy.
Anymore costumes? send em to me and i'll post them. I'm still looking for the classic "school girl" always a crowd pleaser.
I once had a python that escaped like this, except instead of the "aw, hes so cute/smart" it was mostly a cold chill that ran by the people in my house when i told them. Plus, on a completely unrelated incident my hamster mysteriously disappeared as well, must be my luck or something.
And that's why i vote for the leash and tree method. Get outta that one Kookie!
The day i realized I was getting old was when some young guy went up to me and asked "So, what was James Bond like before?". I said he was just like this Bond, except all his gadgets were made to undress women. And he didn't move much, most of the villains would just walk into his bullets.
You know who'd make a really good Bond?, Samuel (don't forget the L) Jackson... "Shaken, not Motherfucking Stirred Bitch!" (then he'd make his eyes really big and stare at the waitress til her clothes fell off.. good times)
